Why Can't I (Liz Phair)

So Much..
So much I want
To say to you,
Too many reasons
Why I can’t..
Imagination runs wild with
Thoughts of unattainable things;
Actions that can never happen.
I wonder why.
Why you ?
Why me ?
Why now ?
It almost doesn’t seem fair
For you to have those
Eyes I can’t stare into
And
Those lips I can never kiss.
I know I shouldn’t tell you this
But..
I feel like I’m falling.

And I’m scared.

*written 12/08

Addicted (Kelly Clarkson)

…And I’m An Addict

I’m having withdrawals.

My heart has become addicted

To your love.

I crave that connection to…

Another human being.

And after much consideration

I’ve realized it’s not exactly you

That I’m missing.

It’s what we had before life got in the way.

That thing that used to show glimpses of itself-

Happy flashes that never seemed to last too long.

I miss the possibility that we could have that again;

Maybe have even more.

But your “love” was bad for me.

So I had to give it up.

[I had to give you up.]

It wasn’t making me feel good anymore,

Just going through the motions out of habit.

Chasing the dragon-

Always trying to feel that first high again.

We both know

We’ll never get that back.

You said it best,

“We need to detox from each other.”

Well, so far it’s been 31 days.

Don’t I get a chip for that?

*started on 9/6/11 . finished 10/9/11*